Big dumb monster movies
I love a big dumb monster movie. I also love a big dumb action movie but very specifically about natural (though not necessarily plausible) disasters. Either monster or action, it absolutely must contain shots of major landmarks being destroyed.
Last week I watched an excellent big dumb monster movie on Netflix: Sous la Seine. It's called Under Paris in English presumably because we can't be relied on to know what the Seine is. I'm always surprised when the French go hard on action and this was so dumb and so big - and wildly enjoyable.
Spoilers! Should you be interested in watching a very silly shark movie in French that's been out over a year and already had quite a moment.
Basically, it's lots of people making horrible decisions and getting eaten by sharks. The end. Everything was turned up to eleven and completely implausible and handwave-science and at one point I actually whooped.
One thing it did really well: There was some stuff at the beginning about the river police having to deal with landmines. Normally I'm very attuned to "uh huh, that's coming back later" but this one slipped by me so when the land mines ended up having an extremely explosive role later on I was thrilled! It just seemed like filler, and had come after a gory shark attack, so it got past me.
Also, the ending. We don't seem to be in Hollywood anymore. And there's going to be a sequel? Sign me up.
Further notes on big dumb monster movies:
- Jurassic Park the original is not a big dumb monster movie. It's perfect.
- The most recent Jurassic World absolutely is. (I have not seen anything in between.) They aren't really even dinosaurs anymore, straight up monsters.
- The new Monsterverse movies are big dumb monster movies of the highest order. My review of Godzilla x Kong: Just awful. Not a lick of sense was made. Not a single shit was given. Script especially appalling. Inexplicable decisions made at every point. Had a great time.
- Not Godzilla Minus One, one of the actual best films I've seen in the past few years.
- The other year I got to watch the original Godzilla at the cinema. The big screen is always fun.
- Planet of the Apes series a bit big dumb monster movie? A bit? Really genuinely enjoyed the latest installment, Kingdom.
- Pacific Rim is a big dumb monster movie with a big heart and I love it.
- A few days before Sous la Seine I watched, for the first time, Jaws. Which I felt like I knew a lot about through cultural osmosis. All the catchphrases. It was funnier than I expected. Also, by our modern standards, excruciatingly slow in places.
- All I want to do is write stories that want to be big dumb monster movies that are mostly about ladies kissing.