Conversations with a toddler accidentally gave me a growth mindset
Something really changed in my brain when I started talking to the niblings about doing things.
My niece would ask about stuff in that expansive toddler way. Toddler curiosity runs pretty quickly up against our limits. No, I don't know the names of different kinds of grasses. No, I can't whistle.
Among adults I would joke about my immunity to learning. I'd tell them about learning guitar for two years and being absolutely no better at the end than the beginning. Many other examples.
But she's a child. A limitless mind to be encouraged.
So in the interests of nurturing a growth mindset in her I would answer something like "I haven't learnt about that yet" or "I haven't learnt how to do that yet."
The intention being to convey this was all possible. No adult knows everything but there's no reason she can't grow up and learn these things or anything she likes. We are all always learning. You can learn, you can grow. There is no fixedness, there are no absolutes in this. It is a wild and wonderful part of being human - our capacity for learning and discovery.
The thing was. I started saying it to myself too. I don't know calculus, yet. I don't know how to do a Rubiks cube, yet.
Spoilers: I can now do a Rubiks cube. And I've learnt a lot about calculus. I did go back through the GCSE Maths syllabus, from being someone allergic to maths. That's not bad.
I'm cheerfully incompetent and that's fine with me. If something is worth doing it's worth doing badly. But I don't tell myself I can't do stuff any more. And those kids? They can do anything.