Full hipster incoming
It's happening. Long have I feared this moment. I've been inching closer. Despite all my efforts. I'm becoming a hipster.
Evidence for the prosecution!
- Lives in the bougiest area of the city
- Glasses
- Plaid
- Collects mid century furniture
- Not only eats kale but grows it
- Dungeons and Dragons, and further board game nonsense
- Reads quite a lot of Substacks
- Probably into Stoicism, has at least read them
- Houseplants
- Vegetarian
- Has one of those nerd-ass folding bikes
The defence:
- Refuses to go to the 'micro pizzeria' or the 'crepe and lifestyle' shop. (The prosecution notes these very hipster local shops)
- They are just cheap reading glasses, the style can't be helped
- Never does things 'ironically'
- Doesn't drink coffee or chai or any such thing
The prosecution steps in for the final, damning blow:
- Started listening to vinyl
The accused sobs in the dock.