My poor communication skills
Yesterday I had a missed call from my wife's brother. (I miss all calls unless I happen to be using my phone as they come in because I keep my phone on silent.) So he left a voicemail asking me to send him some stuff.
I found the stuff. It was wordy stuff, a copy and paste job. So I emailed him.
Later, telling my wife this, she asked had I messaged him. No, I reiterated, I emailed, it was too long for a whatsapp. Yes but, she said, had I messaged him to tell him I'd emailed him.
No.
Why...
Would I do that.
This is the behaviour that gets me put down as a poor communicator. I think, actually, I'm completely reasonable and most people are over communicating totally unnecessarily. As above. Of course, I would think that.
If I'm going to the shop and my sister asks me to get her something I will reply yes, then I will deliver it. Often I drop stuff in her porch, so as not to disturb or distract small children. If it is likely to melt or is particularly time sensitive I will tell her it is now in the porch. That's two communications, max.
My wife will say yes. She will say the thing has been acquired. She will say we are on the way with the thing. She will say the thing has been delivered. Like she's auditioning for a job at Parcelforce or something.
I operate on a 'no news is good news' system. If I say I will do a thing I will do it. If I say I will be at a place at a time I will be there. I'm only going to communicate further if there is a deviation from the plan. No "I'm leaving in half an hour, I'm leaving now, I'm half an hour away, I'm here."
There's so much communication I feel like keeping mine minimal is pretty helpful. Relatedly, I'm a big fan of asynchronicity and matching the medium to the message. But I really do try to meet people where they are. I know who needs extra communication or will get stressed about a 'lack' of mine.
So I guess I'll send a message about an email that was prompted by a voicemail which was the result of a phone call. Even if the whole thing could have been achieved in two emails total.